I heard on Monday
I didn’t shed a single tear
Was it anger or just fear
I wish I could have told you
How much I cared and I’d be there
But tears can’t ever bring you back
They only stain
I lost what I loved
You’ll never return
This life’s become so irreversible
My damn tragedy
My eyes how they burn
This life is so irreversible
– Valora –
This tape is dedicated to all the people who’s passed through my life. It’s a token of my memory, a simple remembrance.
All of you had an impact in who I am now and in what my life has become. Some good, some bad, some in small amounts, some huge. The impact was there, nevertheless. And this has to do with what I’m about to do with my life.
You know, there are 4 things in life you can never take back: a word after it’s said, a stone after it’s thrown, an occasion when it’s missed and the time after it’s gone.
I’ve learned those four things during my life and you were all part of that.
I’ve said too many things I regret having said, I’ve thrown many stones I shouldn’t have thrown, I missed many occasions when I shouldn’t have missed and most important of all, I’ve let time go and now it’s gone.
You’re not directly nor indirectly responsible for my death, by any means. I already held the ones responsible for it and will do it with a few more people.
But you just stood by, watching, seeing me self-destructing and haven’t moved a finger to stop it. You haven’t stopped me doing the 4 things I shouldn’t have done. It’s my fault as well, since I am the one who lives my own life, but I considered you (and you all know who you are) to be part of my life and I expected you to stop me from harming myself.
I am now remembering the old days of my life, the inconsequential ones, the pure ones and I regret not having enjoyed them more, to their full extent. I regret not having lived more, more intensively.
You will soon find out I am no longer here and it might come as a bit of a shock to some of you but to others I think you would have already known this day would eventually come.
There’s no morality in death, no passion, no romance, no drama, no showcasing. It’s just an act of fading away, blacking out and stop breathing.
What I see coming in front of me is irreversible.