Teach me passion for I fear it’s gone
Show me love, hold the lorn
So much more I wanted to give to the ones who love me
Time will tell (this bitter farewell)
I live no more to shame nor me nor you
And you, I wish I didn’t feel for you anymore
– Nightwish –
I feel the need to keep writing, so I decided to create this new category, ” Into this Life”. This will be reserved for the essencial moments of my past long gone, not my recent life events.
I’ve had, like everyone, a first love. Her name was Vanessa and as everyone who’s had a first love knows, it’s something you never forget it, no matter how painful it was.
She had long black hair, brown eyes, a skin that looked like porcelain and a smile that would take my breath away.
We’ve met when we were 14 in an online chatroom (when they weren’t the focus of just porn) and we’ve decided to meet in a costume party. She was dressed as the devil and I was The Crow. We had a lot of fun at that particular party.
We decided to meet again in a nightclub. Somehow she knew a friend who knew someone who would put us in (we were underage back then). That was the most amazing party I’ve had and we laughed, talked, kissed and that went through the whole night. Then we’ve said bye.
And that’s the last time we’ve talked to each other. I still don’t know what happened, what went wrong, what I did wrong, I simply don’t know. I’ve tried reaching to her friends with no success either. And that was the end of my first relationship.
It got to me and to be completely honest it still does. I don’t know, when it comes to first love the deception, the pain and the suffering seems to be multiplied by a million.
I still remember it as if it was yesterday. That was my first kiss.