Kisses & Kerosene

In that final look
Does the deer forgive the wolf ?

You’ve stolen my fascination
You’ve amothered my holy addiction

And now I’m soaked in you
Like fat white worms or sad haikus

I woke up
& the world was on the fire

– Otep –

I can’t fall in love. I can’t live the expectations of someone else. I can’t disguise myself like someone else. I’m nothing. In a perfect world, my wish was not to care.

Unfortunately I end up caring and always never being cared in return. There is this same girl again and yes, she’s got my attention, she’s got me in a string. We have similar objectives but different means to achieve it. I can’t get in her way of dealing with her own life and search for something or someone.

She tells me she’s a bad person, however I think the opposite way. Maybe because there are so many similarities to both of us. Everyone is broken in a way and both of us are no exception. But I know that I’ll let her keep living the way it is now and I will bring kisses and kerosene to my feelings so I can watch them burn.

Priscila, that’s her name. And even though she doesn’t get attached to someone online, that’s a name I won’t forget. The only person able to shatter the wall since Seika. The only one to get my interest. There are, however, too many similarities, but many differences as well between us and I will spare her of hating me.

There’s nothing that attaches her to me and it will always be that way. I’m plain, I’m used to being plain and boring. Also we live far apart and have our own issues to be together, which I will not disclose here for the sake of privacy.

My only will for now are the kisses and kerosene.


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