Hollow Melodies

I speak in verses, prophecies and curses
I speak in verses, prophecies and curses
I hate my life
No miracle is coming (hate you)
It’s just a hole (hate you)
Nothing’s wrong with you (hate you)
Just maintain control (hate you)
Everyone’s asking questions
No place is safe
I’ll forfeit resurrection
To escape the pain
I hate my life
I hate my life- Otep –

There are no miracles coming. No light at the end of the tunnel and I have nothing left to lose. I’ve already lost it all.
The nightmares of her are becoming more vivid each passing day and I always wake up up sweating and with that uncanny feeling that everything was so real. Maybe that’s what they call descending into madness.
I’m having more trouble getting to sleep. I used to sleep around 11:00pm but recently 2:00am is the earliest I can get. And I keep rolling around in bed trying not to think, trying not to racionalize, trying to get rid of her from my mind.
No place is safe anymore for me. I keep thinking of her everywhere I go, while doing anything I’m doing and with whomever I am with. I can’t take it anymore.
I’m starting the final plan, the big departure and I’ve got a great idea from a TV series called 13 Reasons Why. Recording tapes to whom I hold responsible for my death and make sure they’re sent to them after I’m dead.
I will surely make sure everyone knows who’s to blame and what part they had in all this. I’ll keep planning and see what I come up with.
Meanwhile, I hate my life.
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