It’s been four days I haven’t eaten anything now. The money is gone and even the will to eat is not there anymore. I’ve lost grasp with reality and all I think about is the end of all things.
If I had made the right choices in the past maybe my life wouldn’t be all messed up right now, but I can’t redo what’s done – it will always be there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for your mind to slip.
Last night I had a dream – it was one of the good ones – that she was with me and we were talking about trivial things and laughing. But as soon as the dream started it ended and I had that uncanny feeling of a vivid dream and found myself looking out for her, but of course she was not here.
And here I am
Watching the clock that’s ticking away my time
I’m too numb to feel right now
– The Pretty Reckless –
I’ve broken many vowels and I know I’m going to hell. I am the person that I hate. Forgive me Father, I didn’t mean to bother you. The devil is inside me Father. He’s inside of everything I do.
Father, did you miss me? Don’t ask me where I’ve been. I’m the redefinition of sin. Maybe I wish I could die. Maybe I am already dead.
Last night there was a cool and gentle breeze. But I was stuck in a monochrome night.